School Safety Advocate Pillows

'Is it just me or are the school hall monitors becoming increasingly militarized?'

'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm issuing you semi-automatic weapons...we're being out-gunned by the students.'

Teachers' Lounge: Gun Free Area

"Maybe I could win more budget fights if we had a plan to arm us school administrators."

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Man using to much bug spray

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"Very fine people on both sides."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

Reasonableman

"Careful."

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

"Here comes the super-visor."

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

Boozing and Cruising

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

Speeding Forklift

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'