School Safety Advocates Pillows

"Okay, I guess....first we had a lockdown drill, then we had an active shooter drill. Following that we had a fire drill. After that we got to meet out security guards. Then we watched a video on avoiding sexual predators...."

Pool attached to child's bed.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Man using to much bug spray

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"Very fine people on both sides."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Reasonableman

"Careful."

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

"Here comes the super-visor."

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

Boozing and Cruising

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

Speeding Forklift