School Project Completion Gifts

'My son made it for me in shop class.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

"#Win!"

"As I understand it, after this scaffolding comes down the city will be done."

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

"It's a mobile."

"He's my school project for science class."

"I got an 'A' for my anti-gravity science project!"

The words 'Well done ' take seconds to say, but will be long remembered and appreciated.

'The project is a little behind schedule. It was proactive, now it's retroactive.'

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

Will eat your homework for $.

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

"That's lovely darling, but I don't think that's what your teacher meant when she asked you to draw your family tree..."

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"Rats, I thought he'd like my science project!"

Whiskey wars

High Five

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

"‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation in a Freaking Gymnastics Camp and Nearly Broke My Neck,’ by Delia McConnell."

I don't get the 5 paragraph essay. Do and outline. Topic. 3 examples. Conclusion. Ok. " 5 Graf Essay Stinks." Click click click. "2 long." Tap tap tap. "2 boring." "2 over." "#5grafmustdie." Thanks, Nana. It's a breakthrough! The 5-paragraph tweet!

"A homeless person ate my homework."

"I see you got an A+++ in science."

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

'No animals were killed during the making of this book report....'

'They did a great job in restoring all the 19th century details, but this confounded dress code...'

Unpopular Kids on Show and Tell Day.

"Miss Rogers, Sally Green. Is it true my son's research project is 'the effect of too much television on a typical ten-year-old?'"

'He's a structural engineer.'