School Orientations Gifts

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"We thought this was more realistic."

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

"Finally...school starts next week."

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

'How did you train him so well?'

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

'I work at a school's Lost Property Office: I track down the owners of lost items...'

"He's gonna be bad for business."

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

Classroom.

They were right. Life did get better after middle school.

"I hope that this is just a riot of passage."

'I'll get the bastard who said this was a short cut to the Post Office!'

"I can't believe school ends in three months! Sometimes I wish it would never end. But I guess endings make you appreciate the present."

"Timmy, thank you for your science report..."Yawning is Contagious.'"

'My son is studying communications in college. He never writes, calls, texts, or emails his parents.'

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

"I try to get a head start on them."

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

'I didn't write the report. I printed it directly from the Internet, but I did all of the stapling and collating myself.'

'I've been disorientated since my employee orientation program.'

'Do I have to enter a plea?'

"You're a very good hall monitor, Billy, but we don't detain teachers."

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

"I like Monday mornings...and Friday afternoons. But all that in-between stuff bums me out."

'Of course, like everything for kids, some assembly is required.'

"My problem is, I can't tell the rules from the guidelines."