School Matters Gifts

'My son will find this useful at school. It's a list of the rudest insults I've heard from the customers this week.'

Ethics exam cheater.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Computer Room.

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

I will study my speling words...

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"Mom, please shake my chair. I'm taking a virtual school bus ride before class begins."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

Boy and girl at thier studies

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

Happy kids running abount with a 'Schools out' banner

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

"Three more years of high school."

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.