School Gifts

'And then I just hit delete. I haven't actually eaten any homework in years.'

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'I demand diplomatic immunity... I'm class president.'

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'Who would've thought Ms. Kent was following our tweets?'

'When is the world going to realize that we know everything?!'

'I really crammed last night.'

'They've all tested positive for stress.'

'Thanks, but my homework is a little beyond your skill set, Mom.'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'I'm afraid I still have more questions than answers.'

'I didn't write the report. I printed it directly from the Internet, but I did all of the stapling and collating myself.'

'I don't know what plagiarizing is, so I'm gonna take the easy way out and just copy something off the internet.'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

'Please turn it down - Daddy's trying to do your homework.'

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

"We're taking our standardized tests today. So relax, take your time, and remember, the fate of the world as we know it...is riding on your scores."

"Before I read about my summer vacation, I'd like to ask that all pagers, beepers, and cell phones be turned off."

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

Homework Done and Homework Eaten Stands.

'Want to hear something scary? This is the third time this week I've gotten off the bus and still remember what I've learned.'

'Homework done only $1.00' 'Homework eaten only $0.50'

'You're right - the dog did eat your homework.'

'I had a good share and tell, Ms. Gibbs, but my family made me sign a confidentiality agreement.'

Back to School

'For show and tell I've brought individual credit reports on the entire faculty that I've downloaded from the internet.'

'My teacher sent me. She said to tell you I'm just not myself.'

'Is this gonna be on the test?'

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

I will not get within 6 feet of others."

'I'm not late. Everyone learns at their own speed.'

'Uh-oh, teacher burnout!'

'Yes Jason, you may go to the lavatory, but next time just raise your hand.'

"At this time I'd like to welcome our gold-medallion passengers on board."