School Day Humor Fan Gifts

Schoolboy answering a question

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

It makes no sense. The number of books that can be stored on a small device is constantly increasing, yet school kids seem to be lugging around bigger backpacks every year!

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

Billy strip: help with homework.

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"Oh well, if you really want to see some scary chest thumping, come with me now and I'll show my school report to my dad..."

Teacher's pet dog

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

'That's what you get for skipping geometry class.'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'They've all tested positive for stress.'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."