School Board Member Gifts

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

"We need new text books precisely because the ones we have are valuable first editions."

"I know these school board annual budget meetings tend to run very late, however ... "

'In hindsight, I believe that our oversight was shortsighted...'

"Do you realize that the only change we have had, in this school, is in our school telephone number?"

"This is our needs assessment, and you'll notice on the back that I've also attached our wants assessment."

'There's a meeting at school tonight, Dad. The superintendent, the principal, the school board, and you.'

"How was your school board meeting?"

Reducing Class Size

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

"Can't we take a long view without a long meeting."

Pupil to teacher "Miss, I/m finding it hard to concentrate with the rats nibbling at my books"

'Excuse me, but who cast the '10-4' vote?'

School board inquisitor asking a man if his children attend school

"Our school board is very diverse. Nobody agrees on anything."

'He's 'old school', he still drinks coffee at meetings.'

Controversial Boxes

Teacher Resignations

'It looks like new chalk is the only equipment upgrade we can afford this year.'

"If I'm consistently underperforming, shouldn't I be getting some targeted support?"

"Our classroom expansion plans are now in the hands of a higher power...the referendum voters."

Dark Ages

ESSA File Cabinets

"Okay, Daddy - we heard about the hissy fit you threw at the school board meeting last night!"

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

"One good thing about a low budget district, the school year is shorter."

"Well. . . we're off to the school board meeting now."

Unicorns

"Maybe giving guns to classroom teachers isn't such a bad idea after all..."

"Try telling that to the Kansas Board of Education."

"Maybe I could win more budget fights if we had a plan to arm us school administrators."

"No, we can't go in camera just because you want to use foul language."

"We can't afford both Music and Art in our curriculum. So, we compromised."

Hillary Clinton Not Giving Up

Board of Education suffering layoffs.