School Board Meetings Gifts

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

"Now now Mrs Butterworth, you were warned that there were going to be cuts to the arts and crafts budget."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

Common Core Family Therapy

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"Your son's web presence doesn't make up for his truancy."

"Remember you have nothing to fear but fear itself, and me of course!"

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

"I'm going to the school board meeting."

"The good news is, the children in the district have strong writing skills. The bad news is, we have sustained a letter-writing campaign from the third grade."

Obama in schools.

'Let's not look at it as failure. lets look at it as a chance to do better.'

"In order to expedite this meeting, I'm putting you all on mute."

'So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the financial report is approved.'

"Mitchell will now review the quarterly earnings. Please fasten seat belts and place chairs in upright position."

Budget Cuts Guillotine: Next!

'Sorry I'm late!'

Kids talking street slang. Parent: "Their foreign language lessons are going well."

Find More Kids

'Why don't we just close the schools, and do it all with correspondence courses!'

'Our new director is also a choir director. He will lead us in singing our company fight song.'

'There's a meeting at school tonight, Dad. The superintendent, the principal, the school board, and you.'

Banned Books

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

"All in favor, say, 'A.I.'."

Controversial Boxes

City Council: 'It's a sweet deal- we permit their mall, and they build our new high school within!'

ESSA File Cabinets

"He came to conquer the planet, but first he wants to get his feet wet by serving on a school board."

I will not peek at my phone during parent-teacher conference....

"One good thing about a low budget district, the school year is shorter."

Educational Scrap Yard.