Board Meetings Gifts

"We need a fresh young face on the board. Simpkins, get some Botox injected."

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

'So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the financial report is approved.'

The Board's Posture

'Let's keep this friendly, Crenshaw. I'm coming in without my laptop.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"The meeting will come to order."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"I need to see your budget proposal."