Board Members Gifts

"Sure, we can spend all day nitpicking specifics but aren't sweeping generalities so much more satisfying?"

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

'Speaking for myself and every other right-thinking person...'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

' Murder?!..Thank goodness.For one awful moment there,I thought you said there'd been a merger ! '

'All those who think change is good, say aye...'

'That's it? That's your backup plan?'

'There are some ethical roadblocks, so do we use our Greedy Positioning System or our moral compass to find a detour?'

People at a meeting passing around cotton wool for their ears.

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

'We will no longer make major decisions based upon our playing 'one potato; two potato'...'

"Members of the board, my indecision is final."

"A simple 'NAY' will suffice, Gransby, instead of 'Oh HELL no.'"

"A motion to democratize the board has been made and quashed."

"Before each of you, you will find a bitter pill and a glass of water."

"The shareholders want one of us to self identify as a female..."

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

"We frown upon politics in the boardroom Miss Jenkins - But sex is okay."

"Agenda item 38...'Length of future meetings'."

'When I say we all need to make sacrifices, I, of course, didn't mean us.'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'Our product development department thinks this will help the board better identify with our product users.'

"Before the meeting...let's all sing like the birdies song."

"Believe it or not - that's the chairman of our board!"

'At the last meeting 7 members of the board disagreed. I remember you said that they'd regret it...'

'The company is losing millions and the press are asking questions. Gentlemen,we're looking for a scapegoat.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"As usual, you're fashionably late."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."