School Board Savvy Gifts

"I'm going to the school board meeting."

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

"We thought this was more realistic."

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

'I'm so proud of Trevor for getting an early start on his negative campaign for Student Council.'

"I'm enjoying kindergarten except for all the politics!"

"The good news is, the children in the district have strong writing skills. The bad news is, we have sustained a letter-writing campaign from the third grade."

'I didn't write the report. I printed it directly from the Internet, but I did all of the stapling and collating myself.'

"Okay, we've donated to the Food Bank, Feed the Hungry, Food for Life, Hunger Helpers, Starving World, Second Helpings. . . is anyone else getting hungry?"

Merchant Bankers - Patience is a virtue, anyone displaying it will be dismissed

'We are looking for highly motivated, confident decisions makers for headships. Is your son such a man, Mrs Smikins?'

'Why don't we just close the schools, and do it all with correspondence courses!'

Find More Kids

'Of course, like everything for kids, some assembly is required.'

'There's a meeting at school tonight, Dad. The superintendent, the principal, the school board, and you.'

Banned Books

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

"I won it for being lice-free."

Controversial Boxes

"He came to conquer the planet, but first he wants to get his feet wet by serving on a school board."

"Now now Mrs Butterworth, you were warned that there were going to be cuts to the arts and crafts budget."

Educational Scrap Yard.

"One good thing about a low budget district, the school year is shorter."

ESSA File Cabinets

"Maybe giving guns to classroom teachers isn't such a bad idea after all..."

City Council: 'It's a sweet deal- we permit their mall, and they build our new high school within!'

"Do you realize that the only change we have had, in this school, is in our school telephone number?"

'I didn't run for class president because I was unsure if your credit rating could stand the scrutiny.'

"Actually, Dad, the 'D' in math is from when you helped me with my homework."

'Your first tie-breaking vote?'

"Mr Yomp sent you a consultation bill for the conference with you about his son Wally."

"We need new text books precisely because the ones we have are valuable first editions."

'Yes, I received the review copy of 'Running a School is a Snap' that you sent. I found it to be a very useful book.'

"This is our needs assessment, and you'll notice on the back that I've also attached our wants assessment."