School Admission Interviews Pillows

Private School Interview - 'How much do your parents weigh?'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

"Well, my IQ is 180--and that's in Centigrade, not Fahrenheit."

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

End of Affirmative Action

"Our focus here is on the arts. Is he pottery trained?"

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

'This isn't a good time. I'm in trouble with the Dean for using my cell phone in class. I'll call you back.'

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."

Contest to enter the University

"Not the 'Princeton Experience' he was expecting."

Universidad

Gracie goes over to the college recruitment tent at a carnival.

'I'm sorry...we're not sure you're self obsessed enough.'

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

Boho Bribes

'I'll make a good lawyer. I know how to go for the jugular.'

Night Owl

College Football

'...and, if I don't get a place, I'll kill myself.'

'They're praying the school doesn't find out that they've been pretending to be religious.'