College Interview Pillows

'I'm sorry...we're not sure you're self obsessed enough.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'How fast can you hype?'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

"And where have you previously moused?"

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

A very young man being hired as a groom.

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

'Yes, can I help you?'

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"