College Applications Pillows

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Last Parent Trying To Get Child Into College

'There's really no need for confusion. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L in this scholarship application instructions quite clearly says ... '

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

'It's my application to Harvard...'

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

"Well, my IQ is 180--and that's in Centigrade, not Fahrenheit."

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

'Cat Lit. You?'

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'