Applying For College Pillows

"We want you to have fund, as long as it's fun that enhances a college-admission application."

'There's really no need for confusion. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L in this scholarship application instructions quite clearly says ... '

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"One year closer to college!"

'Another football scholarship offer?'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Fishbowl rebellion.

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

Trust

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

'He's going to college, but he doesn't have an exit strategy.'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

"Well, my IQ is 180--and that's in Centigrade, not Fahrenheit."