Applying For Education Pillows

"I'd like to apply for the work-study program."

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

"Of course I'm not quitting school, Dad! If anything, I've learned that if you want to succeed, you need passion and leadership and a whatever-it-takes attitude!"

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

"...and would you like to enroll her in pre-pre-pre-med or pre-pre-law?"

1/2 Full Foundation: Optimists only need apply.

'I'm sorry...we're not sure you're self obsessed enough.'

Boho Bribes

"Today we're filling out mock college applications."

'If you aren't careful, son, you'll be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

'...and, if I don't get a place, I'll kill myself.'

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

'I'm sorry but we don't have athletic scholarships for video games.'

'Her special Talent is sulking.'

'They're praying the school doesn't find out that they've been pretending to be religious.'