Admissions Pillows

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

Pinara fund

'Cat Lit. You?'

Cover Design for Cambridge ABC (Student Magazine)

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

"Well, my IQ is 180--and that's in Centigrade, not Fahrenheit."

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

End of Affirmative Action