Scholars Gifts

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

'Hunters are abundant, so we're offering grants in gathering.'

Brothers Grimm

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Boy and girl at thier studies

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

K9 Literati

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

Wikipedia...

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding as written and as it would have been written if David Hume had invested in a word processor,

"Must be another paradigm shift."

"Have you been working out?"

Football team discussions.

'Read that last part back to me.'

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

Romans.

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

"If history has taught us anything, it's taught us that there have been a ridiculous number of books written about history."

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

Petrarch

Brain Power

''Et cetera' implies that you know much more than you really do. . .'

Francois Rabelais