Scholarly Sonnet T-Shirts

'All I want to know is--when do I get to use the quadratic formula, political facts of South America, frog anatomy, the ecology of Johnson Creek, and the billions of other things I spent twelve years studying so diligently?'

The Bookworm

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

Too big to fail

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

Poetry repairman

'Just tell him two quarts of milk and a pint of cream, Will- it doesn't have to be a sonnet.'

Poetry Buff.

William Shakespeare

The Poet.

Medical Student

'Major poets' 'Minor poets' 'Free agents'

"He's in first grade. He'll get to Zs."

Algernon Swinburne

'Cambridge dons of electrical engineering find a way to do toast without going to the buttery.'

Thomas Wyatt

4 Rules For 'Serious' Poets

'Oh, come on, Bill, surely you can do better than 'there was an old lady from Nantucket!''

"It's a helmet cam. This way I won't miss out on anything if I fall asleep."

'I like the hat.'

"Nice try, but learning by osmosis is not a thing."

'I'd like to renew my poetic license!'

"...and so I left Wall Street and made a killing in poetry."

Alexander Blok

Starting School

'It may seem dull to you now, Harry, but at one time, everything in that book was breaking news.'

"I got the grant! I'm researching whether or not money can buy happiness."

'I'm going for that scholarly look while I try to quit smoking. They're nicotine patches.'

'We're promoting you to Full Professor, Ferguson -- Here are your elbow patches!:'

Rupert Brooke.