Schnauzer Owner Gifts

"The second bag is a doggie bag for my schnauzer, Buddy."

Tartine

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

"Gesundheit!"

Finger on the Z Key

The Cat's Alarm Clock

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

'Why is the jacuzzi full of grapes?'

What a Guy! The Tops! - "He likes to make his clients feel important."

Easy chair exercise machines

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

Lemonade - Serving this community since 10:18am

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

Tarzan, the Heavy Sleeper.

'This is the worst wine I've ever tasted--I'll take 20 cases.'

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

'Sell some? But then there'd be less for me.'

'Fantastic meeting! . . . Just fantastic. Why don't I have my weasels call your weasels.'

'I want you to meet a Corporate Chieftan who's fall of himself.'

"Gesundheit!"

'He didn't buy us as pets, he bought us as pet-food: He has a snake!'

An Excellent Excuse.

'Achoo! I can't believe I'm allergic to sand. I bet this doesn't end well...'

"I hate it when they have a day off work: we can't sneak up and nap on the couch..."

'My husband will be a little late getting to the office, but he's on his way.'

Clocks. Why do you want two alarm clocks? Getting up is bad news and I want a second opinion.

'Gesundheit.'

Rare four-leaf Schnauzer

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, NOW HIRING, 'Okay, you're hired -- now, I want you to forget everything you learned in pre-school.'

Pianissimo

Parents of student:'Shh George is revising!'

Allergy Clinic: Summertime and the Living is Wheezy.

'All of our wines are made me on the premises.'

"Yeah, I'm sure you feel pretty cool on a car ride with your master, but me, I ride with my master on his Harley. . ."