Schmoozer Gifts

Professional Couples

'I want you to meet a Corporate Chieftan who's fall of himself.'

Bed Seasons

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

Bob tried networking – and crashed it.

What a Guy! The Tops! - "He likes to make his clients feel important."

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

'The nurses tell me that you're having trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd try a sermon just to help.'

Tarzan, the Heavy Sleeper.

'...and blessed be our new church nursery, which allows certain congregation members to catch up on their sleep during my sermon.'

'Would you like seating in snoring or non-snoring?'

Fortunately the Pastor didn't realize it, but his wife's new 'mod' hat was actually a clever disguise for two canisters of coffee.

"He should be there by now. He left for work an hour ago."

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

'Clown-noser.'

I was awake all last night. Me, too. I'm exhausted. Ditto!! Thank heavens for work. And for today's staff meeting! It's the only place I can sleep!

'Shouldn't I be home in bed or something?'

"She's a great networker. One drink and she's on schmooze control."

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

'Fantastic meeting! . . . Just fantastic. Why don't I have my weasels call your weasels.'

'With the possible exception of my husband, we all enjoyed your sermon, Reverend.'

"Nowadays, I not only sleep through Winter, I also nap through Spring, Summer and Autumn..."

'I wouldn't say he walks the walk, but he does crawl the crawl.'

"I don't know if a nap is part of God's plan for me."

"This is all very boring..."

"This next one's for anyone out there who might still be awake."

'And then it happened. Halfway through your sermon, my insomnia was miraculously cured!'

'The service is over, Ed. You have to wake them up.'

Pianissimo

Tesco Litigation Dept - 'They're suing me for going to Sainsburys.'

After a long discussion, Rev. Smith went along with the worship service count-down clock but not until after the congregation agreed to the wake-up blast horn!

"I really envy my left foot...it slept through his entire sermon!"

I'll have my people get in touch with your people.