Strategic Schmoozer Gifts

"Baldo and Gracie have cleaned their rooms...they've scrubbed the kitchen...and the bathroom is spotless. Yes, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

CEO Escape

Bob tried networking – and crashed it.

"I've made myself a success through a combination of long-term planning and short term tantrums."

'Here's the game plan going forward. We acknowledge any and all 'mistakes,' then fake fixing them.'

"Ok Watson, what have you dreamed up?"

"Do you call this a business plan?"

'Things look much better long-term, once we pass the statute of limitations.'

Office Canteen: 'Getting in a consultant is win-win for us... we'll get the credit if it's a success - but, if it all goes wrong, we've got someone else to blame!'

And here is where we stooped to the level of the competition.

What a Guy! The Tops! - "He likes to make his clients feel important."

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

'Do you want to be red Tory or blue Labour?'

"We're fighting them in zone A, they're our allies in zone B, and we don't know what to do in zone C."

"Then it's settled -- our strategy is to hope for better things."

"Just take the free kick, and stop wasting time."

'Clown-noser.'

"We love your results. We're just a weeny bit concerned about your methods."

"Boss, there's a rumor going around that someone lost a $1,000 bill in the cafe. There are like 200 people out there." "Interesting. And I assume they're all looking for the $1,000 bill. I assume they don't want anyone else to know about it before they find it." "I assume each of them is buying our food and drink so the others won't suspect they're here with ulterior motives." "I wonder who could have possibly spread such a rumor in the first place?" "Very bad man."

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

"She's a great networker. One drink and she's on schmooze control."

'Oh, that's Dan, the congressman's right AND left hand man'

'And this is our strategic planning department...'

'Fantastic meeting! . . . Just fantastic. Why don't I have my weasels call your weasels.'

Meeting room: "You said 'come prepared', remember?"

'I'm always thinking of my fellow man - that's how I stay ahead of him.'

'I want you to meet a Corporate Chieftan who's fall of himself.'

'I wouldn't say he walks the walk, but he does crawl the crawl.'

"Better use the ink wedge."

"Yes, I gave him enough rope, and NO, he didn't hang himself!"