Schnapps Sipper T-Shirts

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"I forget to drink."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

Running Latte

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

A very fine vintage

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

Liquidity Lunch

Velvety. And so was the wine.

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

"Sipsies?"

'Boozer's Week.'

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"A friendly warning, pal—this is a sports bar."

"Generally speaking, when his nose gives way, it means he's had enough."

"You're only supposed to leave him one glass of sherry!"