Scheduling Savant T-Shirts

"Yes this is the reservations department, we have particular reservations about responding to travel agents"

"When you have my schedule, you need large sticky notes."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Time Is Money

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

Where was I?

"I love your optimism."

"Dad's barbeucuing again so Mom's got the pizza place on speed dial."

Binge Watch

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

All the apps hidden within a phone

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

Tax Collector

"Wait...... I'm in the bathroom for one minute and you answer my wife's 'Where are you' text with..... 'I'm in a bar with Pete, checking out chicks, foxes and a cute little beaver'??"

"I'd love to sit down and discuss my project with you some time. Let me check my calendar and I'll get back to you."

'Lost Diary'

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

"You doomscroll, I make coffee, and together we forge bravely into each new day."

"I recently upgraded my resume-writing software."

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

"Your three o'clock moved to two o'clock, your two o'clock moved to one o'clock, and your one o'clock said you're fired."

ACME, Inc. For the man who has everything. It's a home security company.

'You sure you've got Photoshop experiance.'

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

'Ideally, I'd like a job where my multi-application cell phone will do all the work.'

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"You no longer have to worry about me dropping my phone. The new phone comes with an airbag."

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"