Saving Savant T-Shirts

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Binge Watch

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

"Up market, down market - he's still the same old curmudgeon."

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

"In an unexpected development, the market behaved rationally today."

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

Company Share Price - "The god news is we've become a very attractive takeover target, sir."

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'

'Now might be a good time to interject the GOOD news to the stockholders!'

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

Man climbing line chart, planting profit flag.

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

'Sometimes I think the market is trying to tell us something, Ferguson...'

Piggy Bank ATM

"Now, how many of you liked the viola player best?"

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

"You'll have to imagine the melody for this next song too."

'We need to schedule an autopsy audit to find out what happened here.'

'The forever stamps I purchased at 42 cents are now 44 cents. That's an annual apprciation of 2 which is more than you earned on your investment portfolio.'

'Always bought low.'

Wall Street Red Ink.

It's not a love bite, I just play the violin.

'No one is making fun of you. You're just being overly sensitive.'

"Turns out that 'sleeper stock' I sold you was actually in a coma."