Scent Strategists Pillows

Skunk Scent Killer

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

Aromatherapy for Men

Mayo-A-Mayo

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

"What's that smell, girl? Is it spring?"

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

Overpowering perfume

'Maybe the stuff stinks.'

"Great Perfume!"

"Why waste money on perfume when his favorite scent is stuffed pork chops?"

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

Dog fetching slippers with a peg on his nose.

I miss that new planet smell.

Right, like you're the first shrink to recommend aromatherapy.

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

'You know it's time to bath the dog when he starts to smell like a gym bag!'

"Mm, you smell terrif- ... no, wait. That's me."

Online articles are fine, but I miss being annoyed by the fragrance sample cards in print magazines.

"May I say that's a lovely combination of cyclomethicone, triisostearin, and propylene carbonate you're wearing today, Dr. Thomas!"

"Sometimes, you have to stop and smell the roses, as well as the other flowers, and the bushes, and the trees, and the sidewalk, and the fire hydrant, and the trash on the side of the road..."

"He'll definitely notice this one madam, especially if you leave the receipt where he can find it."

'Cologne sir?'

I smell beer, Lance. You think that's fun? Try drinking some!

'Never mind what looks good... what smells good?'