Scent Artist Pillows

'Let me know when you feel wonderfully refreshed by the fragrances of botanicals grown in water.'

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

Aromatherapy for Men

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"Potential buyers of the company are coming through today. Tell everyone to look sharp and put a few bowls of potpourri here and there."

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

"It's less of a spell than it is a signature scent."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

Overpowering perfume

'Maybe the stuff stinks.'

"Great Perfume!"

"What pheromone are you using?"

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

"Why waste money on perfume when his favorite scent is stuffed pork chops?"

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

"I understand he's in aroma therapy.''

Online articles are fine, but I miss being annoyed by the fragrance sample cards in print magazines.

'You know it's time to bath the dog when he starts to smell like a gym bag!'

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

I miss that new planet smell.

The Cona Lisa

"Mm, you smell terrif- ... no, wait. That's me."

"May I say that's a lovely combination of cyclomethicone, triisostearin, and propylene carbonate you're wearing today, Dr. Thomas!"

"Sometimes, you have to stop and smell the roses, as well as the other flowers, and the bushes, and the trees, and the sidewalk, and the fire hydrant, and the trash on the side of the road..."

"He'll definitely notice this one madam, especially if you leave the receipt where he can find it."

'Cologne sir?'