Scent-sationists Gifts

My dog's personal line of fragrances.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

Aromatherapy for Men

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

Overpowering perfume

'Maybe the stuff stinks.'

"Great Perfume!"

Dog fetching slippers with a peg on his nose.

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

"Why waste money on perfume when his favorite scent is stuffed pork chops?"

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

This cologne reminds my husband of our first kiss, years ago in the old copy room. It's eau de mimeograph.

"Mm, you smell terrif- ... no, wait. That's me."

LOVENUTS: 'We were irresistibly attracted to each other's smells,' says Jo-Jo.

'To cure your dog I suggest you change your aftershave lotion, Mr Lutshbuddle.'

'Do you like my new fragrance - It's called 'Surrender'.'

'You know it's time to bath the dog when he starts to smell like a gym bag!'

"May I say that's a lovely combination of cyclomethicone, triisostearin, and propylene carbonate you're wearing today, Dr. Thomas!"

"Sometimes, you have to stop and smell the roses, as well as the other flowers, and the bushes, and the trees, and the sidewalk, and the fire hydrant, and the trash on the side of the road..."

"He'll definitely notice this one madam, especially if you leave the receipt where he can find it."

'Garlic or non-garlic?'

"Whore of Babylon?"