Scenes Of Crime Officer T-Shirts

"Well done my son! There's a shell case in the corner. . .and number that stain."

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Joan Hickson

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

"We need rain."

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Slow Night

Next camera crew 5 mins

"So that's where you were last night."

Miami Mice

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

"Paper or plastic?"

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

Turkey Autopsy

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

'We've got a new DNA database...'

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

Penguin identity parade

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

"Remember - this meeting never happened, we never met, and you never wore that tie with that jacket."

Party balloons. Looks like an inside job. Helium.

Al Pacino

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

Bureau of Missing Persons

"I'm home, with all my DNA."