Scarecrow Whisperer T-Shirts

"Relax. They're just crows."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

The Worm Charmer

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

Agricultural Psychology

'I could eat you.'

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.

"Earthworms are good guys, and birds are good guys—that's just life, honey."

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

"Yeah, birds are bad, but fishermen are the worst: they first stab you with a hook, then drown you to finish you off. . ."

'Where are you going?'

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

Spiders all over the place, "Hello, Guiness book of records?"

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

The definitive turning point in The Great Terrier-Squirrel War was the now-famous Trojan Acorn Maneuver.

"My husband is fishing. . ."

"You know, he's not nearly as scary close up!"

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

The Incredible Telly Presenter's Journey.

"Wow! Check out the body on this one."

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

"Well, he's a squirrel, so yes, he's a hoarder, but that does not help come Winter: he hoards books, not nuts!"

'Well, Dad, you said for us to use our initiative to make money so we went into the worm business.'

"Good day at work..?"

'Boy this is a great garden: You can taste the natural compost and fertilizer...'

Waiting for the 5 o'clock hooter.

'To be honest Bob, I'm very happy with my new career path.'

"You look different — did you do something to your tubercula pubertatis?"

Snake Charmer

The happy gardener

DOG PARK - 'I can't believe they allow squirrels in here!'