Scarecrow Whisperer Pillows

"Relax. They're just crows."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

The Worm Charmer

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

Agricultural Psychology

'I could eat you.'

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

"Earthworms are good guys, and birds are good guys—that's just life, honey."

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

"Yeah, birds are bad, but fishermen are the worst: they first stab you with a hook, then drown you to finish you off. . ."

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

'Where are you going?'

Spiders all over the place, "Hello, Guiness book of records?"

"My husband is fishing. . ."

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

The definitive turning point in The Great Terrier-Squirrel War was the now-famous Trojan Acorn Maneuver.

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

"You know, he's not nearly as scary close up!"

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'

The Incredible Telly Presenter's Journey.

"Wow! Check out the body on this one."

'Boy this is a great garden: You can taste the natural compost and fertilizer...'

'Well, Dad, you said for us to use our initiative to make money so we went into the worm business.'

"Good day at work..?"

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

"Well, he's a squirrel, so yes, he's a hoarder, but that does not help come Winter: he hoards books, not nuts!"

Waiting for the 5 o'clock hooter.

'To be honest Bob, I'm very happy with my new career path.'

"You look different — did you do something to your tubercula pubertatis?"

"Dealing with a poorly informed public over GM crops is a nightmare...."

DOG PARK - 'I can't believe they allow squirrels in here!'

The happy gardener

'I find that an hour in the compost pile provides my minimum daily requirement of everything.'