Scarecrow Admirer T-Shirts

"But I like horror movies."

Scarecrows guarding a field

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"I love this time of day."

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"He gets easily abstracted."

"Nice try, but I know a squirrel in a bird suit when I see one."

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

Squirrel on the beach

"This'll be a cut and dried, no-drama procedure. Unless any squirrels show up, in which case all hell's gonna break loose."

You are what you eat!

Meowlzebub

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

ATM withdrawal

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"I've been at loose ends lately."

Tree Squirrel

Fear of Flying Seminar

"Omg, bird and squirrel are here."

Squirrel Tapping On Window Demanding Food.

"Yes Sir, we have secret storage locations all over the forest, so we can safely manage your favourite bone and toy..."

Squirrels rescuing acorns from tree about to be cut down.

A Day in the Life of Squirrels

Grim's Fairytales

No Right Turn (monster)

In summer, the nut-jobs buried by squirrels the previous fall begin to sprout.

'Well, yes... The cellar IS a bit damp. But therefore the rent is really low!'