Scare Lover Gifts

Horror Stories.

Scary stuff

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

'Don't you try those cheap scare tactics with me, Rendleman!'

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

Monster Baseball

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

'They're showing 'Jaws' on TV tonight: The beaches should be quiet for a few days after that!'

'You complete me.'

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

'Yes, I'm fiercely opposed to stem cell research.'

Stephen King

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

Horror Theater. Now Playing. Return of the Deficit.

Sword Swallow is Bitten by a Mosquito.

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

Lady vampire putting lipstick on in a mirror with no reflection

"Dad, tell us a scary meteorite story."

'These guys aren't playing by the rules!!!'

Dracula Admires His Offspring.

Man putting his head in a lion's mouth

Human Flesh Eaters: A Romance Comedy.

'This is DESTROYING my manicure, Steve!'

The Bride of Frankenstein

Halloween 2008.

"Now THAT'S what I call a surprise ending!!"