Scandal Scooper Pillows

"Dear diary, boy, have I got something for you today!..."

Squeezing the Free Press.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

Fifty shades of Leveson.

JET (Part I)

"So finally, the liarbird flew off to the lucrative world of tell-all books, management consultancy and after-dinner speaking..."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"It's the American version, type in 'Adultery' and it comes out with 'Inappropriate relationship' "

"We're going public with our stock AND your philandering."

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

The Robert Mueller Rosetta Stone

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

Trumpled

'STREWTH! Our firewall is down!' (Rupert and James Murdoch cease to be shielded after Rebekah Brooks resigns)

'That damn racial scandal.'

Raid the law offices of Michael D. Cohen

Panama Papers

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

Corrupt politicians,