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Clinton's Trousers

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

'She's so put together!'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

A little bird told me...

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

Fifty shades of Leveson.

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

JET (Part I)

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

Hollywood Breakup

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"We're going public with our stock AND your philandering."

Larry King

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

'Oh, I'm just writing a tender memoir or my long ago affair with J.F.K...it's filled with pathos and sad wishful longing...'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

"He's only an associate but he's already reaping at a partner's level."

"Doesn't look good. The boss just changed his Facebook status to 'Fleeing the country with hookers and compnay 401k plan.'"