Scale Whisperers Gifts

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"Just be yourself."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Critisize your weight.

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

"Uh-Oh..."

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

Man rotates profit chart so it shows growth not loss.

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

"And here is where we started putting profits before people."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Despite the economic downturn, sales are as good as ever.

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"We have reason to believe there may be some volatility in the fourth quarter."

"Trust me, come low tide everyone will want these seats."

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

Sales tied in knots

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

'Unfortunately, we were a little off-target again this quarter.'

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

"Graphs are like EKGs, they show the health of a company."

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

"Our sales have slumped so much, we now have a couch for them."

Pandora's box.

"It's been a bit of a roller coaster year so far."

"We're going to need the best forensic accountants money can buy."

Waiting for the 5 o'clock hooter.

'Never mind another doctor -- I'm referring you to the Bureau of Weights and Measures.'

First Annual Psychic Convention

'Stop gritting your teeth!'