Scale Whisperers T-Shirts

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"Just be yourself."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Critisize your weight.

"Uh-Oh..."

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

Man rotates profit chart so it shows growth not loss.

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Despite the economic downturn, sales are as good as ever.

"And here is where we started putting profits before people."

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"Trust me, come low tide everyone will want these seats."

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

Sales tied in knots

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

'Unfortunately, we were a little off-target again this quarter.'

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

"Graphs are like EKGs, they show the health of a company."

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

"It's been a bit of a roller coaster year so far."

"Our sales have slumped so much, we now have a couch for them."

Pandora's box.

"We're going to need the best forensic accountants money can buy."

'Watson, I don't think you appreciate the gravity of the situation,'

'Never mind another doctor -- I'm referring you to the Bureau of Weights and Measures.'

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

Waiting for the 5 o'clock hooter.