Volume Whisperer T-Shirts

'Where's her volume control.'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

Critisize your weight.

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

He doesn't howl at the moon. He prefers to howl into the void.

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

'...and that is my philosophy.'

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Car Dentistry.

"Trust me, come low tide everyone will want these seats."

'In her day, she did all the work for me, now I'm doing all the work for her.'

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

"Look, the numbers don't lie."

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

Pandora's box.

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

'The contractor didn't do windows.'

'Bad news, Dr. Treemont...It needs an engine transplant.'

'I need a new toy!'

'Never mind another doctor -- I'm referring you to the Bureau of Weights and Measures.'

"Yeah, my master is a car enthusiast too, but instead of going on joy-rides with me, he spends his weekends tinkering with the engine..."

"Oh...that's not good."

Cellular Plan