Savannah Settler Gifts

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

Yoghurt man

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

'Hey, buddy, this is a cattle subdivision.'

Moonbillies.

The old colonel wished he was in the land of cotton.

"I'm the king of the jungle! Why do I always get the hand-me-down phones?"

"Stop right there, it's my stockbroker: I have to take this!"

"Frank, you idiot! That's a Piñata."

Envelopes.

The City of Eden…in Fact - Martin Outside the 'Office' of Chuzzlewit & Co

'Here's a twist. Before you go on your quest, an insurance salesman tries to sell you life insurance. If you buy a lot you can date prettier girls.'

Lioness taking a break

"This here is a little number I wrote when I recovered a repressed memory."

"When I got divorced, I went through all the stages of grieving - sadness, anger, denial and punching the air with delight when the settlement cheque came through!"

Country Music Awards

Boy and PC

'Third Life'

"You're not going to believe this, but some of them are making computer games of their OWN!"

In this hot new video game, players battle to the death to reach the last copy of this hot new video game.

Fearless Frog Part 14

Mr. Tapley is recognised by some fellow-citizens of Eden

"I told you, he's off limits. He does all out tech support."

"This new augmented reality software means you can live a rich and fulfilling life without having to go outside."

Yeah, maybe so, but you're not higher up on the food chain. (Published originally on April 28, 2009.)

Redheaded Step-Twins.

Man reading a newspaper. Trophy head of giraffe reading over his shoulder.

'Cutting Mistletoe in the South'

"Thank God we were only house-sitting."

"How will my tenants fit into these tiny flats. . .?"

A lion says 'Let us prey.'