Sausage Savant Gifts

'Just bring a few hundred sausages, plenty of wine and of course your barbeque.'

'Will you get me those healthy eating booklets form the hospital? . . . I need something to start the fire to grill these bratwursts.'

Department of Redundancy Department - 'Hot Dog' Frank Wiener, Director

Blood Donors Wanted at Black Pudding Store.

Dog working as a butcher.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Plant Lady

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"I come here for the pepper."

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"Ah — excellent catsup."

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

Sandwich snob.

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

'Not whale stew again.'

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

Dog begging for a sausage

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

'You're eating too much roughage.'

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

It was the easy listening that the free range sausages seemed to find most soothing.

Bangers and Mash

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'