Sausage Savant Mugs

'Just bring a few hundred sausages, plenty of wine and of course your barbeque.'

'Will you get me those healthy eating booklets form the hospital? . . . I need something to start the fire to grill these bratwursts.'

Department of Redundancy Department - 'Hot Dog' Frank Wiener, Director

Blood Donors Wanted at Black Pudding Store.

Dog working as a butcher.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Plant Lady

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"I come here for the pepper."

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

Sausages!

"Ah — excellent catsup."

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

Where Summer Sausage Comes From...

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

Dog begging for a sausage

'You're eating too much roughage.'

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

'Not whale stew again.'

Sandwich snob.

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

It was the easy listening that the free range sausages seemed to find most soothing.

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

'No, we can't issue restraining orders to dogs.'