Satnav Critic Gifts

Man crawling in desert finds sign reading 'Ignore your satnav'.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

Four Types of Critics

'What's your usual response to criticism?' - 'Extreme surprise.'

"Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating..."

'Sounds like another sat nav mistake, you had better put the kettle on dear!'

"Unclean demon, in the name of the saint I command you to leave the spirit of this man and to take from him his unholy desire to drive an SUV!"

"The GPS is extorting money off me. It won't give me directions until I put money in its account."

Tourist follows an arrow over a cliff.

Sports futility vehicles

Sat Nav: G Spot?

St Peter at gates of Heaven tells thuggish looking man: 'You're in the wrong place, alright. Let me guess: sat nav?'

"Recalculating."

That GPS was a real bargain!

"Oh no - the sat-nav's gone. How can we find the hotel now?"

Lorry driver goes through woman's living room: 'Sorry for the intrusion, love ... blame the sat nav.'

'I don't need a GPS. I'm guided by greed.'

Intelligent Navigation Device...

If you're reading this, your sat nav system has failed.

Queen of Hearts with Sat Knave.

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'

"I could have gone to Eton but I never had the Sat Nav."

You Are Now Officially In The Middle Of Nowhere: "Signal, is lost."

"Next time, forget the breadcrumbs and just ask for directions."

Aliens outside coffee house, one says: 'This is great, we never end up in hicksville towns since we got sat nav.'

"Damned Sat Nav!"

'Hope this thing's right.'