Satisfaction Survey Analyst Gifts

"After a thousand years you may receive a questionnaire on the quality of my torture. So if for any reason you think you can't give me all tens, please let me know."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

Job complaints on road signs.

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

"We try to treat volunteers like regular members of staff, impossible workloads and no resources."

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"Don't distress yourself, when I said he was on our critical list, I just meant that he's been critical about the food, the staff, and everything else!"

'Other than the countless probing how would you rate your stay with us?'

'I do the work of three men...how about giving one of us a decent salary?'

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

"She's always like this at this time of the month,short tempered, insecure,anxious,questioning why she does the job!" "PMT?" "Wageslip!"

"Er! So apart from the crushing workload, lack of support, weak and ineffective management, poor conditions and lack of flexibility was there anything in particular you didn’t like about working here?"

"I love you very much, but apparently it's break-up season."

'For a nominal sum I simply pass through your offices every day to show your employees how good they have it.'

"McNab here is with our consensus engineering department."

"Are you sure these comment cards are anonymous?"

"Winners don't leave Yelp reviews."

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

'We get 183 channels, and I still don't know what I think.'

I enjoy my job, that's why I'm saving some for tomorrow.

'Harrison's really taken to this work.'

"Just how fed up with customer services feedback are you: (a) very (b) extremely (c) incandescent with rage (d) don't ask if you value your life?"

'If you want to praise our company, you're talking to Tommy Smith. If you want to complain, you're talking to Krfrzrk Mnkfplmkrz.'

"I love it when it all comes together... not like now of course."

"When this is all done, I'd like to try something a little different. Maybe work with children.

When Focus Group Researchers Go Head to Head

"I was hoping to retire at 60 - but I have to wait until 65 if I want to finish this latest survey."

"I'm only in it for the money. Is that normal?"

Some jobs are less satisfying than others because they use few of the jobholder's skills and abilities, and the job itself forms only a small part of the finished product.

"Our work is all about communication, we need to have an empathy for our clients."