Satirical Sustenance Seeker Pillows

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Meet the Enemy

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Flyfishing for dummies.

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

'Stick them up...'

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Coronavirus Waves

"Beware of the frog"

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"Another flue shot, Larry.

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Quality Control

How to win friends and Influenza People.

Torturing the English Language

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."