Satirical Spectator Pillows

'Taxes? They're a penalty for doing well.'

Bad business inc.

Deniers

"I'm not going to sit here and make fun of the very people I'm wasting my time watching."

Corona War

Practice Safe Govt.

"I think he's the guy that invented glue."

'What - you again won the 'Greediest Banker of the Month' - award?? Honey, I'm so proud of you!!'

Tea Party is near! REPENT!

Presidential Debates.

BNP: Striving Not To Be An Equal Opportunities Employer

'Who needs heredity and environment when you can get Government subsidies?'

"Hillary Clinton feels that sinners stigmatises people, so from now on, we're to call you service users."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Job Losses

"You are polling very well with the highly motivated 18 to 26 year olds who never vote."

"Sorry, no, I really don't care if your team wins."

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"Cartoonist are harmless? Not at all!! These people have weapons!! Here, see for yourself!"

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

Militant Pacifists

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."