Satirical Observer Pillows

A panhandler with a sign that reads "From 1040 Schedule 'A' Line 15 Gifts by cash or check.."

'At the end of that round the score now stands at...'

'Sometimes I think you're on a different planet.'

"Excuse me, have you seen a large gent with a red coat and face to match."

"Then it is agreed. The problem's not our fault, because the country's run by low-level bureaucrats."

Planning Office - Acquired by Tesco

'By opening this envelope, and taking out this letter you have voluntarily agreed to buy product...'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

Man Imprisoned in Christmas Gift: 'Help!'

"So you're looking for a well paid, non job - how about trying a government quango?"

"We're not friends-she just e-mails me things I'm not interested in."

"It was his favorite app."

A man walks past a homewares store that has a large sign in the window that reads "Appliance Riot! - Everything in stock priced at least 15% lower than this time next year".

'Well, besides 'liar, liar, pants on fire', how do you feel about our candidate?'

WORLD ENDS TODAY!..OR NOT!

Department of Redundancy

Obesity: Mechanical & Biological.

"What's the country coming to when ordinary people like us can hardly afford our second cars, third tvs and fourth holidays anymore?"

"Remember when 'The sky's the limit' was something we wanted to hear?"

Native trees of lexington avenue

Road signs point to various things to buy including "women's wear", "office supplies" and "household appliances".

"Congratulations! Owing to the responsible way in which you've handled your drinking, the management has increased your limit."

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

"No, no, your job's not going out of the country to some foreign bastard. We're just firing you."

"The village shaman said if we stay on this path, we can’t miss the Walmart."

A well-dressed panhandler holds a sign that reads "Will argue for food".

"He's not responding. Let's try some aggressive billing."

"Maybe a virus rally was a bad idea."

Cost of living crisis starvation

The Morality Police - Iran - Every little thing she does is illegal.

"Nah, I just don't fancy it anymore."

"Die alone"

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

"We assure residents that safety is our main motivation for installing automated speed enforcement cameras in town."

"Your job will be to bang your head against this wall from nine to five each day."