Satirical Soothsayers Pillows

I lost my job as a political satirist because reality is funnier than I ever could be.

"Today the Federal Reserve announced interest rates will stay the same, but hemlines will rise."

British savings accounts

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

Priest's 'To do' list.

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Pie Filling Reader

Drive-thru Church

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

The Ten Really Cool Facts

'Even More Disciples'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

Lesbians for Christ

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

Justice

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

The 11th Commandment