Satirical Soothsayer Pillows

Greece & EU

'I see a bright future. You will get on to the Obamacare website soon, have your pre-existing conditions covered, with no lifetime caps.'

British savings accounts

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

Priest's 'To do' list.

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

Pie Filling Reader

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

The Ten Really Cool Facts

'Even More Disciples'

Bald Man Overcomb

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

Lesbians for Christ

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."

Justice

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

The 11th Commandment