Satirical Soothsayers T-Shirts

I lost my job as a political satirist because reality is funnier than I ever could be.

"Today the Federal Reserve announced interest rates will stay the same, but hemlines will rise."

British savings accounts

Priest's 'To do' list.

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Pie Filling Reader

Drive-thru Church

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'Even More Disciples'

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

The Ten Really Cool Facts

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

Justice

Lesbians for Christ

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'